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Hidden camera captures lesbian being asked to pray for her desire for women to go away.
By Melanie Nathan, April 10, 2012,

Bachmann & Associates had no idea that they were the target of yet another undercover gay advocate visit, and this time it was in the form of a young lesbian, a filmmaker from GAY U.S.A. the Movie. While the visit was contrived, and the character expounded upon, the reality and the seriousness of the possible harm to young gays and lesbians cannot be overstated.

Last week as co-producer on the film, I helped Kristina Lapinski set up and pursue a counseling session at one of the two Bachmann clinics in Minnesota, where she played the part of a confused 24 year old lesbian who had just moved from California to Minnesota to marry her long time male friend, Jake, all to please her Christian parents.

Last year, Bachmann & Associates had been stung by a gay man from the group Truth Wins Out, (TWO) making national headlines because of its high profile ownership by Marcus Bachmann, husband of then presidential candidate Michelle Bachmann, with the resulting confirmation of disreputable reparative therapy practices and the revelation that the clinic received  federal funding via Medicaid.

The purpose of Gay U.S.A. the Movie’s action was to obtain footage for a documentary, which after two years, is now in its final shooting phase, with a planned release for September 2015.  www.gayusathemovie.com

We planned the visit to the Bachmann clinic with precision and clarity, at first trying to get an appointment with Marcus Bachmann himself, only to learn that he is no longer taking new clients; possibly a respite after the TWO sting.

We researched online for another counselor in the Bachmann office, and were led by the mission statements of some 26 counselors, most describing practices with distinct biblical and Christian orientation. With time constraints our limitation, the process of elimination was determined by availability and the appointment was made with a counselor by the name of Sheila J. Marker.

With six years of experience , as can be seen from the website description on the Bachmann page, Sheila J. Marker is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, State & AAMFT Approved Supervisor,  and received her MA  in Professional Counseling, from Argosy University, Eagan, MN,  specializing in, inter alia,  Pre-Marital Counseling,  Relational, Marriage, Family Issues, and Women’s Issues. Her mission statement reads:

 To come along side of those who are struggling to offer hope and encouragement that they can find healing and wholeness in their lives with therapy that is psychologically sound as well as consistent with Biblical principles.  My commitment is to provide a supportive environment, maintaining high professional and ethical standards, where I partner with individuals in finding the path to the abundant life, filled with meaning, purpose and fulfillment.”

Kristina arrived for her 3:00 pm appointment on Thursday April 5, dressed in a likely blue jean jacket with a hidden pen camera languishing visibly from its pocket. Upon arriving at the center, she filled out a patient form, signed a HIPPA Statement, and paid $50.00 in cash, declining to have her medical insurance billed when given the opportunity by the receptionist.

While walking in, she filmed herself in the mirror as she passed through the reception area and entered the ladies room, where she checked her rig and sent me a text for the final prep talk, noting with trepidation that Ms. Marker was approaching from down the hall and looked like a nice lady.

“Keep in character, I asserted, on the phone, “that is all you have to do,” wondering all the while if I would have had the courage to do what Kristina was doing. “All you have to do is be who you are, tell your story and she will do the rest.”

That is exactly what happened; it was not difficult for Kristina to dissolve into character for the full 60 minute appointment and that is where she remained,  simply becoming a version of herself with the added component of being confused by her sexuality and about to get married.

“It was easy to be me and imagine that this scenario, of being closeted and fearful of my sexuality could be true, as I have heard so many such stories through my filming,” noted Kristina, whose years belie her comfort as a lesbian.

But nothing prepared her for what was to come and, she notes, “Although I was able to intellectualize the experience, for a whole three hours after I left the office, I was nauseous.  I thought that it could have been real for someone else and it made me want to throw up.”

After the appointment was over, I received another text from Kristina, and even though I had an idea about where this appointment could lead, nothing could have prepared me for that text:-

“We prayed the gay away!”

Then it hit me too, like a kick in the gut, as I imagined the worst for those really in this predicament. I thought, “How could these people get away with this – they are playing with fire, with the lives of our kids!”

Below is Kristina’s full verbal account of the session, and after I heard it, I was left thankful that we have an opportunity to expose this type of practice through this article and GAY U.S.A. the Movie:-

 “I went into the session using a different last name. I didn’t want to give my real last name just in case they ‘googled’ me and found out I was a gay rights activist.  I described my future husband as my best friend, my buddy. I told her about my desire to start a family and please society and my religious community.

I told her I had been with a woman, and found that to be true love.  I made my uncertainty clear, that I had two options either to go through with the marriage or to refrain because I thought I was a lesbian.

She asked me if I had slept with my fiancé and I told her that I had not yet and that I was not attracted him. She said “how can you know how it will be until you try?”

She asked if I believed in God, and I answered, “yes.”  She pulled out a bible, handed it to me and asked me to read a passage out loud. It was about love, and then she asked me to analyze it with her. We talked about love and commitment, and even though I have never been attracted to my fiancé, the commitment, she noted, was a form of love.

I communicated that we played sports together and were buddies, and that we had a lot in common. She then jokingly told me that it is better than what most straight married people had together.

She told me to follow God’s road. “The bible says one man one woman… two great halves come together….” and then spoke to some extent about a woman’s duty to keep the man company… I found that oddly sexist.

She then went on to convince me about what was right and never ever explored the option that I could possibly in fact be a lesbian. She told me the commitment part was important and the love part would grow over time.

She asked me if I could “pray for a miracle to happen and wake up in the morning and have it be true, what would I wish for?”

I said “money, success, a happy loving environment with friends and family.”

She was clearly implying that my miracle would be the getting rid of my “desire” which she referred to as ‘same sex attraction’- (notably what many on her side of the issue call SSA, as if it is a disorder.)

I told her I’d want my miracle to just be happiness and did not submit to the suggestion of my miracle being a cure for my “desire.” I refused to give in to that notion.

That led to her question – She asked “What is the worst that can happen if you do get married?”
I answered by saying, “well I would get a divorce, and it would be my fault because I was never really attracted to men to begin with.”

I expressed I wanted a family, but thought I might be too young, to which she replied, “a lot of people start much younger than you!” She really pushed for the pursuing of a relationship with my fiancé and starting a family.

Given this was not a real situation it made me wonder what if I had in fact been a real patient and all of this was actually my situation, surely the therapist ought to have told me not to get married if I had these kinds of doubts and thought I was gay?

She talked a lot about submitting to God, giving my life path over to him and letting him direct the way. She told me if I wanted to be happy I could “give my problems to the Lord and he could take them away.”

We ended the session with a prayer and Sheila J. Marker asked the lord to take away my “desire” and allow me to pursue a relationship with my fiancé.

What made this difficult for me to do was that I found her to be really nice, she was a beautiful woman and I really believed she meant no harm and simply did not know better, but then wondered if this type of practice made sense in the context of her University degree and training.

I found it interesting that I gave Ms. Marker my options – the option between being with women or being with a man.  I had clearly expressed I did not have a sexual attraction to men.  It was astounding to me that she pressed her personal political and religious opinion on me about which path to pursue, without even exploring my feelings of being a lesbian, which was given no consideration at all on that day of prayer, even though she invited me back to further the discussion.

I feel the need to expose this kind of practice because I really believe that if I was that character in real life and uncomfortable with my sexuality, this so called counseling could have been very harmful to me.”

Kristina returned to base and immediately downloaded the footage, which will not be revealed until we decide what to include in the documentary. The experience left Kristina reeling for a day, and even impacted me remembering my own confusion and vulnerability at the early stages of my coming out.

The danger in this so called therapy or counseling was the injection of conforming ideas of family and marriage as being absolute, which together with the hope of a “miracle” through prayer, could ultimately result in dangerous paths and consequences for people who are truly struggling with acceptance of their sexuality.

Please view the GAY U.S.A. the Movie promo; and there are many ways you can help by contributing to GAY U.S.A. the Movie, please visit  www.indiegogo.com/gayusathemovie

www.aamft.org/imis15/content/legal_ethics/code_of_ethics.aspx

Article by Melanie Nathan,  melanie@gayusathemovie.com ; Twitter MelanieNathan1
Photos from video by Kristina Lapinski
Photos and Article Copyright owned by GAY U.S.A. the Movie, © 2012, All Rights Reserved

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UPDATED ; ARPIL 12, 2012:-  Please note that GAY USA site is having a problem loading comments. We are in processing of fixing the problem. You will notice the amount of comments indicated does not correspond with the amount that are up. We have tried to compensate for the problem by publishing comments hereunder – especially those that did not make it onto comment section. Please be patient until we have the problem fixed. UPDATED 4/14/2012 – The problem was fixed on 4/14/2012 and comments should now appear in the correct order in comment section.

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Also see

See this story picked up by Huffington Post www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/12/michele-and-marcus-bachmann-ex-gay-clinic_n_1420752.html?ref=gay-voices

See this story picked up by  The Advocate at www.advocate.com/Politics/Marcus_Bachmann_Clinics_Caught_Again/

More Photos:

Kristina Lapinski reading Bible in Bachmann Office

The Bachmann HIPAA Privacy Law Statement

 

30 Comments

  1. Dat1ChyckUno, on April 14, 2012 at 8:47 am, said:

    The God I was taught about in sunday school and brought up to believe in doesn’t make mistakes. I am NOT a mistake! Whom or how I love is NOT a mistake! I am made in His image, therefore I am EXACTLY who He wants me to be. I wish people would stop throwing the Bible at homosexuality; its the oldest living anthology, but thats precisely my point! Its an ANTHOLOGY!!! A gathering of stories, not a frickin rule book! The Bible’s in the same category, to me, as The Oddessy, Grimm’s Fairytales, and good ol’ Aesop’s Fables. Great literary works full of nifty advice and food for thought, but not Cliff’s Notes for living. #FoldingUpMyPortableSoapbox

  2. Melanie Nathan, on April 13, 2012 at 7:56 pm, said:

    This Comment was left on another site blogs.citypages.com/blotter/2012/04/marcus_bachmanns_clinics_still_practicing_ex-gay_therapy_says_new_undercover_report.php#comment-496244662 By a person called:-
    truth wins 1 hour ago
    Erika is trying to rewrite history. the lesbian community is quite small in mpls and lakeville and many of us remember your drunken rants about your family’s horrendous treatment of you because you were gay, like being sent to ex-gay camp. That is great news if this has all changed! But neither you nor your mom is the victim. The true victims are the young people in this country who are made to feel ashamed, who are told or led to believe there is something innately wrong with them. That is the true crime your mother and others like her commit on a daily basis. I am sure your mom is a great person, but like so many others she adheres to the ‘love the sinner hate the sin’ mentality which is not only absurd but can be quite harmful since there is an automatic belief that there is something wrong with being yourself – gay or straight and that it is simply a choice. Erika instead of spending all your time on websites posting the same things over and over again, talk to your mom, have your friends talk to your mom about the real harms her thinking can cause. No real and decent therapist or counselor would ever let people deny a part of themselves or feel shame.

  3. Wellstone’s Ghost, on April 13, 2012 at 11:09 am, said:

    I felt that the article did not attempt to portray the “counselor” as a “bad person” generally, more like a caring person doing Christian Counseling for Bachmann & Associates. Marcus Bachmann could not “operate” in many other states with his lack of credentials and Mr. Brown above nailed the very questionable counseling approach above:

    “Ms. Marker is not following APA approved counseling. AND, is in DIRECT VIOLATION of the AAMFT’s own Position Statement found under: Statement of Nonpathologizing Sexual Orientation, and under Reparative/Conversion Therapy”.

    But would anybody expect anything much different if you went to a Christian Counseling center with the same issues?
    It sounds like Ms. Marker did a wonderful caring job of presenting the Bachmann & Associates skool of gay reparation, maybe Marcus will now give her some health care benefits.

    Let’s all pray that Ms. Marker gets a better job out of this.

  4. Melanie Nathan, on April 13, 2012 at 9:24 am, said:

    It is very nice to see that Ms. Marker went on her Facebook page and rallied her friends and family to defend her mother on the one hand that is what all good daughters should do. But unfortunately Ms. marker and friends clearly have no idea what this means to the gay community – We are not the first to expose the Bachmann Clinic.

    Both Kristina and I are not interested in fame or money. We have spent our personal resources making this film – Kristina has been on the road for two years now – and it has been heart wrenching to watch the struggles of gay kids, talk to moms whose kids have committed suicide, speak to Americans who are living in exile because they cannot bring a same-sex spouse into America because of the discrimination imposed by DOMA. We are doing this because we believe in equality and at the base of equality is acceptance – that if I am gay – it is okay! That is what Sheila Marker and all at Bachmann should be telling their clients when faced with options such as ‘I have a fiance but I am not attracted to him – I felt true love for a woman.’ They should not choose even for the commitment of a fiance – that is inserting personal belief into a session. She should have explored both options equally and not prayed the “desire” away. It denoted un-acceptance to a confused person who needed the therapy – not religion- to reach conclusions. Kristina did not choose a Church! She wanted to hear options for Marker to say – maybe you should reconsider this marriage if you are gay. But Marker could not accept the gay part!

    In other words therapy should trump religion even in a Christian counseling center . If it does not then tax payer money should not be used.

    Until Ms. Marker came on line and exposed her family, touting that she had once had an experience with “cure” the gay stuff, (see comments on truth Wins Out) no one would have cared less about Sheila Marker herself- all people cared about as can be seen from thousands of comments on the internet is the Bachmanns.

    Yes, bad choice by the mom of a lesbian daughter to work for the clinic.

    We have done our job – what we set out to do for the film. If we decide to include this in the film which will be released in September 2012, then you will have a chance to see it for yourself. In the meantime we are onto the next State and I might add very little of the film is sensationalist -it is REAL – it is just story after story ABOUT UNFAIRNESS AND DISCRIMINATION IN AMERICA. I hope you are voting against the Constitutional Amendment in your State! Melanie Nathan from GAY USA the Movie

  5. Melanie Nathan, on April 13, 2012 at 9:05 am, said:

    The founding fathers established a wall between church and state in this nation’s Constitution. These radical methods are intended to convert patients into Christians and funding from the government not only legitimizes one particular faith over another, violating the Constitution, it is wrong to use taxpayer money to push controversial faith-based morality. Allowing taxpayer money to fund extreme Christian counseling like bible-based anti-gay therapy goes against the foundations of this nation.

    Michelle Bachmann, who is running for for the GOP Presidential nomination, operates such a clinic with her husband, Marcus Bachmann, and that clinic has received federal and state money while using extreme Christian methods to push their specific theology in hopes to convert troubled individuals.

    This is wrong on so many levels and must be stopped.

    See Kevin’s Petition at www.change.org/petitions/defund-bachmann-associates

  6. Jake, on April 13, 2012 at 6:30 am, said:

    Imagine the world of pain and hurt caused not just to a gay individual but to the hapless spouse and potential kids dragged into a marriage based on deception. Even ignoring the incredible damage to the lives of their patients these people are responsible for untold damage to innocents. Incredible that they don’t see counseling their patients to slow down and find their true feelings to be the moral imperative.

    • Melanie Nathan, on April 13, 2012 at 8:57 am, said:

      Absolutely correct Jake – hence the purpose in exposing this

  7. Tara Davis, on April 12, 2012 at 11:26 am, said:

    Cute idea, but unfortunately for your gotcha-journalism tactics, you chose Sheila Marker, the proud and supportive mother of a lesbian daughter. When this fact comes out, the misleading nature of your feature is going to badly discredit your entire effort.

    The fact is that you walked in to her clinic and expressed a firm desire to live a life of denial, and she did her best to give you exactly what you asked for. Had you not indicated that you were a practicing Christian interested in marrying a man, I’m pretty sure the conversation would have gone very differently, based on what I know about this woman.

    And just for the record, I am neither a Christian nor a Republican myself. I just hate seeing good people destroyed for the sake of political theater.

    • Melanie Nathan, on April 12, 2012 at 12:38 pm, said:

      Kristina gave Ms. Markel options. If it takes political theatre to bring attention to what Bachmann does, so be it! The film has yet to be cut so who knows what will make it in. perhaps you are jumping the gun here. But that said we are reporting exactly what happened. At no time did Ms. Markey tell kristi to follow her heart – she told her to follow her commitment and pray. I believe t and divorced and come out as gay much later in life causing so much harm to families. We simply do not believe in this form of counseling and rae exposing the practice. We are less interested in Ms. Markel and more interested in the fact that tere are over 20 counselors working for Bachmann who believe in this form of practice as mentioned in their respective mission statements.

      At no time did Kristi suggest she wanted to live in denial – that is a misinterpretation of the facts as outlined in this article.

    • Melanie Nathan, on April 12, 2012 at 6:35 pm, said:

      Perhaps Ms. Marker – being the GOOD person she is – should look at al the comments about Bachmann Clinic on Huffington Post and The Advocate and reconsider who she works for. She would not have been the target had she not worked for Bachmann.

  8. Erika Marker, on April 12, 2012 at 11:21 am, said:

    I am gay and my mother (Sheila Marker) loves and accepts me. My girlfriend and I went to Easter dinner with my family at my parents house. I am upset that you would try to portray a wonderful woman like my mother in this way. She is a CHRISTIAN counselor. Of course she is going to tell you to pray not to mention, Christians believe that giving the lord your problems is the thing to do with ANY problem, not just your sexual desires. furthermore, as a marriage counselor, of course she is not going to encourage your “desires” for people other than your fiance, whether it is for women or men. she is going to encourage you to stay true to your commitment. I know my mother and am positive that she was encouraging the woman in accordance to the her self proclaimed desire “to start a family and please society and my religious community.” to a man that she claims is “my best friend, my buddy.”
    This sort of Slander of a wonderful woman is not helping out the cause, a cause that i am very much involved in and am passionate about. Not to mention, you really can’t paint her as an enemy if she is supportive of me and my relationship. Her goal is to help people live in happy, loving, committed relationships. Not encourage people cheat on their fiances and spouses.

    • Melanie Nathan, on April 12, 2012 at 11:31 am, said:

      Thank you for commenting on the site. Kristina thought your mother to be a beautiful woman who seemed to really care. All she is doing here is reporting her experience. The fact of the matter is your Mother works for the Bachmann Clinic. If you are passionate about the cause, you should have a discussion with your mother about how the Bachmann Clinic is hurting gay youth with bringing prayer into sexuality when the kids really need counseling that denotes acceptance. Kristina did give your other the option when it came to taking direction in the session. This is not a poor reflection on who your mother is. I am sure she is a wonderful mother and good person. That was Kristina’s impression. To my way of thinking having a lesbian daughter and working for Marcus Bachman is a major contradiction and hard to understand. Maybe this column can start thye much needed dialogue and maybe your mother can be the one to speak out against trying to pray the gay away!

  9. Tracy, on April 12, 2012 at 8:48 am, said:

    These sorts are repressed, scared, terrified, actually- to be fully alive. They cling to a religion that prevents them living their own f*cking feelings- and they resent anyone who does…Not that difficult to see this?

  10. Groobiecat, on April 12, 2012 at 5:54 am, said:

    The assumption is that, somehow, those passages from the bible about heterosexuality should be heeded. What Bachmanns and like-minded “Christians” conveniently ignore is that the bible says a *lot* of things that should not be followed. Remember the Dr. Laura email floating around the Internet? “Dear Dr. Laura, Leviticus says that I can own slaves from contiguous countries. Why can’t I own Candadians?” Or Leviticus tells us that to touch pork on the sabbath should be punishable by death. How should I smite my neighbors who play football on Sundays?” I hate to repeat this sentiment, but we’re in a cultural and political civil war with what amounts to inflexible socio-sexual fascism. Hard term, but the word does in fact sum up what the extreme right is all about. Congrats on doing the hard work of shining (another) light on practices that demonize gay people (whether intentional or not).

  11. David Olaf Brown, on April 11, 2012 at 11:40 pm, said:

    Simply horrendous. Ms. Marker is not following APA approved counseling. AND, is in DIRECT VIOLATION of the AAMFT’s own Position Statement found under: Statement of Nonpathologizing Sexual Orientation, and under Reparative/Conversion Therapy: www.aamft.org/imis15/Content/About_AAMFT/Position_On_Couples.aspx

  12. Wyocowboy, on April 11, 2012 at 9:04 am, said:

    “give my problems to the Lord and he could take them away.” Yeah like that really works, if that would work then I would not be gay today, I would have money, a family with a wife and kids and etc…this stuff makes me sick. As for Argosy University…I don’t think they would support it in the sense as Kristina bringing her polictical and religious pt of views into the session by ethical shtandards those are to stay out of the building. Was Kristina promoting sex before marriage? Isn’t that considered a sin?

    • Melanie Nathan, on April 11, 2012 at 9:10 am, said:

      I think you mean Ms. Marker! and muddled the names?

    • Erika Marker, on April 12, 2012 at 11:24 am, said:

      it is a CHRISTIAN counseling clinic. that is what people go there for. Religion is politics for Christians, or have you not been paying attention to the republican party for the last 20 years?

      • Melanie Nathan, on April 12, 2012 at 5:28 pm, said:

        Wow what happened to separation of church and state. seems like we are doing some important exposing here after all the clinic is getting some taxpayer money/ Your comments are really putting your mother’s work in more hot water. She would be better served if you did not act as her spokesperson Erika.

        • me, on April 13, 2012 at 7:04 pm, said:

          people vote based on their convictions. while you and I may believe that our laws should remain untouched by religion, people of conservative faith are not in the same mindset. I am pretty sure Erika was just trying to illustrate that point, not asserting that it is right. you are very good at your job melanie but don’t you think that there are better ways to fight this fight than arguing with someone who shares your beliefs.

      • Melanie Nathan, on April 12, 2012 at 6:37 pm, said:

        The counselors tout their psychologist and marriage counselor degrees – behind their names, their Universities and their licenses one is entitled to presume that one is not going to Church!

  13. Melissa Thompson, on April 11, 2012 at 5:38 am, said:

    This made my heart sad to imagine a person coming with these as legitimate issues in their life. I am also angry at the hypocrisy, they will rail against gay people and single parents having and raising their children in love while encouraging a confused young women to marry someone she doesn’t love and then to hurry up and bring kids into the love-less environment…..that’s so unfair to children. These people have no idea what family values mean….”It means a family is a group of people where all are valued”, not how many you can turn out while pretending to care.

    • Erika Marker, on April 12, 2012 at 11:27 am, said:

      you don’t know what my mother knows about family values. she has 5 children that love her dearly and that she would die for. and one of them, me, happens to be gay and she doesn’t love or support me any less than my siblings. as the minority in this situation I would think you would understand the dangers of judgmental stereotypes.

      • Melanie Nathan, on April 12, 2012 at 12:13 pm, said:

        Erika- I want you to know that I thought your mother was a beautiful and kind woman. I have no desire to paint her as the villain in this, and I want this experience to open the conversation.
        I went in to the session with the option- marry a man I was not attracted to, (I told her I have never been attracted to a man), or get out of that relationship, because I thought I was a lesbian, and found my attraction to women to be true love. I was upfront with my feelings. She definitely went in the direction of husband and family, rather than take my doubts of the situation into true consideration. My “commitment” to my “fiancé” should not trump my true feelings as a lesbian.
        If she had told me she had a gay daughter the situation would have gone in a MUCH different direction. She shared many personal things about herself, and this fact was not one. And it was a fact that could have been used to let me know that being gay is ok.

      • Melanie Nathan, on April 12, 2012 at 12:46 pm, said:

        The facts speak for themselves. I understand your need to defend your mother. I am sure her family values are perfect! That does not speak to the fact that she works for Marcus Bachmann and nor does it help her form of practice

      • Melanie Nathan, on April 12, 2012 at 12:49 pm, said:

        Thank you for commenting on the site. Kristina thought your mother to be a beautiful woman who seemed to really care. All she is doing here is reporting her experience. The fact of the matter is your Mother works for the Bachmann Clinic. If you are passionate about the cause, you should have a discussion with your mother about how the Bachmann Clinic is hurting gay youth with bringing prayer into sexuality when the kids really need counseling that denotes acceptance. Kristina did give your other the option when it came to taking direction in the session. This is not a poor reflection on who your mother is. I am sure she is a wonderful mother and good person. That was Kristina’s impression. To my way of thinking having a lesbian daughter and working for Marcus Bachman is a major contradiction and hard to understand. Maybe this column can start thye much needed dialogue and maybe your mother can be the one to speak out against trying to pray the gay away!

      • Melanie Nathan, on April 12, 2012 at 12:50 pm, said:

        Kristina Comments:

        Erika- I want you to know that I thought your mother was a beautiful and kind woman. I have no desire to paint her as the villain in this, and I want this experience to open the conversation.

        I went in to the session with the option- marry a man I was not attracted to, (I told her I have never been attracted to a man), or get out of that relationship, because I thought I was a lesbian, and found my attraction to women to be true love. I was upfront with my feelings. She definitely went in the direction of husband and family, rather than take my doubts of the situation into true consideration. My “commitment” to my “fiancé” should not trump my true feelings as a lesbian.

        If she had told me she had a gay daughter the situation would have gone in a MUCH different direction. She shared many personal things about herself, and this fact was not one. And it was a fact that could have been used to let me know that being gay is ok.

        • Jennifer M, on October 6, 2012 at 5:00 am, said:

          So, the therapist shared many personal things about herself. Didn’t listen to what you were saying. Didn’t explore options or your feelings. Used the Bible. And tried to steer you in a direction that was consistant with HER beliefs and HER goals not yours..

          How is this even ‘counselling’ or therapy’ at all? No ethical competent therapist does what she did. Therapy isn’t about ‘giving advice’ based on the therapist goals. How much did the session cost? You should have demanded a refund. You could have had the same chat with some Christian layperson for free.

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